Back on Track!!

my back on track (pun intended) picture with my lovely sister

Okay, I'm back on track.  Literally.  I've tracked my points for two days now.  I actually only gained one pound while on vacation and then gained 11 pounds when I got home.  I don't know what the problem was.  I was just swimming in all these thoughts about how I could get back to Vancouver.  (Still happening by the way, my mind has not been changed).   I think I was just distracted and unhappy here.  There's some family drama happening revolving around my little sister (not the one in the pic) and my mom that just won't die down or go away.  But I've decided to move on from that because I can't change it, it's not my drama, it's not my fault, and it's not my problem.  I'm not taking it on anymore.  Case closed.

My plan of attack now is to keep the tally going on my "consecutive days tracked".  I found out last Thursday that a friend of mine in the same area has gone back to going to WW meetings so starting next Monday, I'm going to go with her for the rest of the summer.  I've also roped in a neighbour for some exercise accountability.  Over BBQ on Saturday night we made a pact to do AT LEAST 15 minutes of activity daily starting today.  I did Zumba for Wii after work.  I really love it, I don't know why I don't do this every day other than that I'm lazy!!!!  I'd rather watch tv.  But I popped it in and I did the 20 minute Beginner workout and I was a PUDDLE by the end!!!  The 20 minutes flew by because I like it!  Tomorrow I'm giving Bob Harper's Pure Burn Super Strenth video a whirl.  Here's a trailer if you want to be scared!  Then I'll do the Zumba again the following day.  I also tried the yoga on the Wii Fit a couple weeks ago and I liked that too so I will have to work that into the rotation.  (haha - if I'm going to move to Vancouver I'd better practice my yoga, I hear they are a bunch of yogis out West :)  So there's my plan!  Alternate lots of workouts to keep it fresh and actually use all these games & videos I own and count my points like a good little Weight Watcher!

Finally, someone had commented a little while back asking what I thought of the Zumba for Wii so here's my brief review.  I'm uncoordinated and I find it to be lots of fun.  Even if you're terrible but trying, you sweat!  I love the latin music!  A negative is the tutorials.  I found the tutorials to go too fast.  Your best bet with the tutorials is to not put the wii remote in the belt.  It automatically thinks you're doing well even when you're not and bumps up to the next level.  My suggestion for the tutorial is to do it without the remote, then when you think you have the steps, give the remote a couple of shakes and it will move to the next level.  I just gave up on the tutorials and found it easier to just jump right in to the beginner workouts.  You pick it up pretty quick and with practice, you get better & better!

And p.s.  I had to do a quick post today because a friend of mine said, and I quote, "update your blog or I'm telling your mom about it".  Good friend.  :)

PUBLISH POST!

Trip of my Lifetime?

I'M BACK!!!  I've been humming & hawing over posting for two weeks now.  Mostly because I've been distracted by my life.  I've talked about my trip to Vancouver in a couple previous posts, most recently the last one.  I was excited to go and see family and on the other hand, I was nervous too.  Thankfully, there were only a few moments where I felt like the 'fat one'. Usually it was when I was looking through pictures or when we were getting ready to go out. My sister would just throw something on and look beautiful and I was painfully trying on everything I'd packed.  Other than those moments, I was totally fine.  I actually managed to make it through 11 days of vacation and only gained one pound!!  I count that as a huge success.  Since I've been back I haven't been counting points or consistently exercising and I've just maintained my weight.  I have to get back to actively trying.

As for my trip, it was amazing.  Perhaps the trip of a lifetime.  Seems a little dramatic seeing as how I just went to Vancouver to visit family.  However, I had not seen them in a minimum of 10 years.  Some of them over 20 years.  I was expecting to visit, have a fun time, and be ready to come home.  I'm always ready to come home when I've been away. Even for 5 days.  This time though, I never wanted to come home.  The connections that I made and the relationships that were renewed made me want to stay there forever.  I'd never known what it was like to be in a room full of people and have them all share my last name. Seems like a silly thing but it was very cool.  After a few days, I realized that for them the trip wasn't just about visiting with me, it was about selling me on Vancouver.  They took me everywhere everyday and I was exhausted but by day two I was in love with it and picturing myself living there.  I was actually born there so when I arrived at the airport, they were all saying "welcome home!'  I thought it was funny at first but I eventually realized it was true.

My sister and I cried parting ways and the whole flight home I was thinking about how and when I could be living there.  I was thinking about what I would be giving up versus what I would be gaining, what I have tying me here and so on.  What I came up with is that the only thing tying me to Winnipeg is my job.  That used to be enough for me.  The security of knowing I have a good job, I can pay my mortgage, I'll have a good pension and I won't have to seriously worry about money.  But is that enough??  I finally decided that it's not.  I do have a few close friends here and a younger brother & sister here.  When my brother & sister were younger, I wouldn't have left.  But they are 21 & 24 now.  They're grown and I have to stop feeling responsible for them.  As for my friends, yes, I'll miss them.  But honestly, I don't actually SEE a whole lot of them.  They have families and lives and they've moved away and come back and lived their lives and I wasn't a factor in that because it was their life.  Why shouldn't I be doing the same?  Living my life!  Right now and for the last long while, I haven't had much of a life.  And if not now, then when?  I'm not married, I'm not dating anyone, I don't have kids.  Now is the perfect time.

When I got home, I started looking around my place and taking stock of what I would take and what I would get rid of.  It's amazing what you're willing to part with when faced with moving it across the country.  Purging is so freeing!!!  Right now, I don't think I will be moving till June 2012, the earliest.  It seems so far away but when you think about how fast time goes, I think it will fly by.  Except for that nasty winter part in the middle, that will drag. I've been thinking about what I will do for work and I've put myself on a job alert for a utility company there that is the same utility I work for here.  I've also considered the possibility of going back to school.  If I'm going to start over, why not START OVER?  In high school, I wanted to be a pharmacist and I did really well in all the sciences in high school and then bombed in university and I just gave up that idea.  There is a Pharmacy Technician course offered at the college in Vancouver and the wait list is a year so I applied for the September 2012 start.  It was only $30 to apply so worst-case scenario, I lose $30 if I decide not to go that route.  While this is all extremely scary for me, EXTREMELY SCARY, it is also very exciting and I know the rough part of a move will only be for a short time.  I'm a creature of habit and I know it would be very easy for me to slip back into my life as it is and forget about all the feelings and joy I had while I was away but I'm doing my best not to let myself forget.  I've been in contact with my sisters daily, going through different sections of my condo and getting rid of stuff.  I framed my favorite pictures from the trip and put them on my wall and pictures of all my brothers and sisters on my mantle.  Daily reminders of what I want so I don't get complacent.

Okay, so now that I've caught you up on what I've been distracted by, I'll share some of my favorite pictures from the trip that have made my Vancouver wall!

My sister Erin & I

Erin, David, Me

My brother David & I

Me & Erin

Erin, niece Adrianna, me, Heather

Me & my sister Heather

My brother Mark & I

Brandywine Falls

Very cool double rainbow on the way to Whistler.

AMAZING SUSHI!

The train, it was the first time I'd been on one.

Queen Elizabeth Park, I fell in love with it.

I also watched three hockey games while I was there and I've watched the last three since I've been home with great passion.  I don't know how they did it but I'm hooked and I'm pissed I didn't buy a t-shirt while I was there :)

Well, that's it for now.  Hopefully my next post will be weight loss based!!  I'm going to start counting my points again Monday and breaking out the Zumba for the Wii!  Now if you'll excuse me, I have scads of blogs to catch up on :)

Gone Gone Gone, She Been Gone So Long . . .

I can't believe it has been so long since my last post.  I feel like the last few weeks have flown by.  Sorry to my followers for my disappearing act and thanks so much to the ones who contacted me to check up.  Very surprising and appreciated!  I'm not even really sure what I'm writing about but I really want to post something before it turns into two months.

I haven't been tracking or doing much deliberate activity just the occasional bike ride and doing Zumba for the Wii a couple times a week but that's pretty much it.  I have managed to maintain 199 pounds though and I am VERY THANKFUL.

I leave for my trip to Vancouver on Wednesday.  I'm so excited to go and I'm so excited to come home.  Weird right?  Every time I go away, whether it's 5 days or two weeks, I am always SO HAPPY to come home.  I'm such a homebody.  I love that moment where you drag your luggage in the door, glimpse around your familiar surroundings and flop down on the couch.  So yes, I'm excited to go and visit my sister, brother, and Dad but I'm almost as excited to come home from a great trip and get back on plan.

I'm feeling a little nervous about the trip too though.  My sister is slim and gorgeous and mostly, I just don't want to feel like the frumpy awkward one.  Over the last week or so I've been doing a little shopping just to buy some nice new tops and a few accessories to help me feel good and dress up what I've already got a bit.

Isn't it purdy?

One funny thing happened over the last few weeks although the moment it happened sounded something like this "AAAAAAAAAAH F*CK!!"  One evening I decided my place needed a good deep clean, I swept, swiffered, steam mopped, vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, washed the kitchen floor.  All of this was made much more fun with some loud music and a couple of Bud Light Lime's.  Then I decide I deserved to sit down and watch a couple shows off the DVR.  I updated my FB status to: "The pros & cons of living alone: Cons - paying all the bills, no one else to blame for an empty ice cube tray, milk jug, or toilet paper roll.  Pros - EVERYTHING ELSE :)"  Forty-five minutes after singing the praises of living alone, I use the washroom and push the flusher and feel no resistance and no flushing happens.  AAAAAAAAAH F*CK!!!  I've got 6 tampons, hair elastics, and hand lotion, what would Macgyver do???  I take off the top of the tank and see this broken piece.  I held it out of the water with an elastic and looped it around what was left of the handle so that I didn't have to stick my hand in the water tank to flush every time.  I was also expecting company and didn't want them to have to do that either.  Right away I'm thinking of who to call for a plumber and how much I cannot afford this after paying for my car repairs and my upcoming trip.  Then I thought, how hard can it be?  I googled, then I found the part on the Home Depot website and it only took me 5 minutes to replace it.  I've never been so proud.  Well, I probably have, but not recently!  It cost me $5.49.

So for my trip, I think my goal is just to not gain.  Usually when I go away, all bets are off.  I'm really hoping I can change that and make really good choices the majority of the time.  I imagine we will be doing a lot of walking so that's great too.  I'm taking my computer so maybe I can squeeze a post in there.

Tata for now, I've missed you too!

A Big Sigh & Some Good Stuff

I have planted myself on the sofa with the Mac on my lap every day for the past week to try and write this post.  I was going to just skip this week but with the bad stuff that overshadowed everything and hung around like a cloud, there actually was a lot of good stuff.

In the middle of last week I reached Onderland which I celebrated with that picture post.  I lost another pound by the weekend and was feeling a little more secure in Onderland the further I got away from the 200 mark.  Then I got some news last Sunday that sent me into a week long tailspin.  It's family news so I won't go into it just yet but it's not good. (nobody's dying, it just sucks for the selfish part of me) I'm sure I'll eventually be able to talk about it but I always feel the anxiety of someone accidentally coming across this blog.  Anyhow, I got the news Sunday morning, promptly jumped in the shower to cry, then got ready and went about my day.  However fast food, became a big part of that day and the rest of the week.  Ouch.  I could already see Onderland slipping away and I didn't really care.  I was relieve to wake up Monday morning and see 199.6 again.  I was so happy that I didn't go over 200 again.  However, this whole last week has been untracked and speckled with fast food and lunches out.  Enough with the sad stuff, let's get to the good stuff.

I heart my bike.  I think her name is Schwinnie. (so far)

First up, my lovely bike.  I LOVE IT!!  I took it for the first ride a week ago Thursday and I rode right to the bike shop that is about 3 km's away from my place.  I knew my tires were underinflated but I was too nervous to use the gas station pump for fear of blowing the tire right off the rim.  It's a pretty high-end bike shop so I was a little nervous pushing my way in there with my Target bike.  However, the guy that helped was AWESOME.  He pumped up my tires and showed me the pump by the back door that I can pop in and use anytime, he adjusted my front brake which wasn't assembled properly, fixed a gear, and  showed me the best way to lock the bike.  It was such a great experience that I went on their website and emailed them when I got home.  Speaking of home, when I walked out the back door and hopped on and started to ride, I was grinning like a fool!!!  With the inflated tires and the working front brake, the ride home was pure joy!  I have since decked it out with a blinking headlight, taillight, and side mirror.  I bought fenders but they didn't fit so I'll have to take them back and I will be taking the bike back to the shop and have them install the correct sized fenders.  We got more snow yesterday and the day before and it's been  colder than the norm for this time of year but I hope to be out for a ride most days than not in the next couple of weeks.

Not my car but exact model & color.

Next good thing, I got my car back!!  I am so happy to have it back.  I checked with Frank (mechanic) a week ago Thursday and he said it would be ready the next day.  I picked it up Friday after work.  The damage was $1491.61.  OUCH.  Although by that point, I was over the bill, I really just wanted a running car back.  I got a used transmission and an oxygen sensor.  Then I notice on the bill that it says alternator N/C and then he tells me that he replaced my alternator for no charge.  I love Frank.  Honestly, I think he totally felt bad for me.  He was really great earlier in the week when he gave me all of my options and even told me what he would do if it was his car etc.  Then I was on the way home and I notice out of the corner of my eye that my door lock is straight and down.  My door lock has been seized since November and to get it fixed would be $288 so I never did it and figured I would do it when I had extra money (bahahaha!  extra money!).  Anyhow, I pushed the lock/unlock button and the lock went up & down.  I was beyond thrilled.  Frank fixed my lock!!!  That guy is going on my Christmas list.

The final happy thing -- I had been thinking about getting another cat for George Catstanza aka Georgie Boy for a while now.  About a week and a half ago there was a couple of cats on the cover of our local newspaper with an article about how many pets the humane society had to euthanize over the past year.  All week, I was looking at online ads and answered a couple but didn't hear back.  So once I had my car back, I grabbed my kennel and headed to the humane society.  I wasn't sure I would come home with one but figured I'd take the kennel just in case.  I held and played with lots of cats and kept walking right past one cat named Sophie because she was 13.  She was so quiet and she looked like a kitten so I asked about her.  She was owner-surrendered to the humane society almost two months before and was likely going to be put down.  She was already marked down to $40.  I held her for a little and then took her into one of the little rooms to play by ourselves and I decided I must take her.  So meet Sophie!!

The first time she ventured out from her hiding spot behind the tv stand.

Posing nicely on her favorite ottoman.

The look Georgie Boy gave me when he saw her.  I think this expression says "WTF!!"

We had a rough first few days but we survived.  Then they actually seemed to be getting along enough to be in the same room and close proximity but over the last couple of days, George has started to get aggressive with her and start fights so I'm going to go back to separating them when I'm not here and paying extra attention to Georgie when I am.  I don't care if they aren't snuggle buddies but I really want them to be okay in the same room without scrapping.  I know it can take a long time and I just have to be patient but I really don't want this precious little old cat to be tortured!  It's kind of funny because they seem to call a nighttime truce and then each sleep on either side of me all night.  Hopefully this week, I will see more of this and way less fighting.  

So as far as the WW goes, tomorrow is tracking day one.  I'm desperately hoping that tomorrow's weigh-in keeps me in Onederland even though, I'm pretty sure my fast food week is going to make that impossible.  Gulp.  

Oh and water water water.  I have sucked at water for a couple weeks now and that has to change asap.

Picture Post!

ONEDERLAND!!!

'nuff said. :)

Soooo close!

I weighed in yesterday at 200.6.  A loss of 2.2 pounds which is awesome.  Onederland is so close!!

This week for sure, this week for sure!!!  I just have to lose 0.8 to see my weight start with a one again!


I do however get to update this little guy because I have passed 25 pounds now so that's kind of fun. I'll take it!  I never thought it would be thrilling updating the badge every 5 pounds but it really is :) This week was pretty good food-wise right up until the end.  More on that in a bit.  Almost all of our classes at the gym were cancelled due to Spring Break this past week so the only one going was boot camp on Tuesday night which I DID GO TO!  Then on Saturday morning I went for a brisk 7 km walk with one of my boot camp girls (Lindsay :).  It finally felt like spring, then promptly snowed the next day.



Now I'm going to whine a little bit.  It's not really weight-loss related but it did make me jump head first into a giant bag of chips and container of dip last night.  I ATE THE WHOLE THING.

For the most part, the older I get, the more okay I am with being single.  People that know me in real life will scoff.  But it's true.  The older I get, I'm getting better at it.  It's not something I would EVER choose but hey, that's the way it is.  That and hearing annoying stories about friends husbands sometimes makes me glad I don't have one. :) Keep them coming ladies!

However, there are times when the pangs strike and strike hard.  Jealousy gets the better of me.  I feel sour, old, and bitter.  Those times are usually brought on by babies, travel, and financial calamity.  Babies is self-explanatory.  Married couples who are having trouble conceiving aren't the only ones having trouble conceiving.  Travel - my issue here is that it's so expensive to plan a trip as a single.  Everything is based on double occupancy and honestly, most of my friends didn't start going through the trouble of traveling till they found their person, then they were all about the vacations and trips.

This brings me to the last one, financial calamity.  The one striking pain right now.  By this I mean the unexpected things.  The unexpected $$ expensive $$ things.  While I LOVE the condo I bought last year, sometimes I do feel the weight and the pressure of being a single income and would so love to split the mortgage and bills sometimes.  The pressure that would alleviate would be wonderful.  When I'm really into worrying, I start thinking about money for retirement and where that's going to come from and hope like crazy that I won't be an old lady eating cat food.  I mean, what would my cat eat??  Or when something breaks down, it would be so nice to say "hey, can you deal with this one?"  I've had one thing after another this past year and most recently, which has prompted this whole whiny thing, is my transmission.  Yes, sigh, my car.  I have a 97 Honda Civic with very low kilometers on it and right now, it's been at the garage since Thursday and my mechanic (I love him) is looking for a used transmission for me because my choice is scrapyard or transmission for around $1300 or $1500.  I can't afford a car payment of any kind at the moment so my choice is really transmission or no car at all.  No, I won't rob a bank!

Not my car but exactly my car.

No car wouldn't be the worst thing in the world however, for me, I would feel the loss of independence greatly.  I hate asking for rides or always needing to be picked up.  I like to go where I want to go and leave when I want to leave.  My car means freedom to me.  I worked hard for it and I distinctly remember the day I got to pick it up and it was so exciting.  I have loved this car for nearly 10 years and fingers crossed, with a transmission, I could love it for another couple years.  So for now, I'm hoping Frank (mechanic) calls soon saying he's got the perfect transmission for me.  I'm looking at where I can tighten up my budget further and keep an eye on the job postings at work.  Seriously, there's about three hens I would love to push into retirement with my foot.  One literally SLEEPS at her desk and the other surfs the net and talks to her retired friends all day.  I cannot believe those two make more money than I do for a job I can do better.  Hopefully, my car will live long enough for me to get into a higher paygrade.  :)  ENTER THE POTATO CHIPS.  All of this money stuff that's been plaguing me since Thursday finally cracked me last night and I walked to the convenience store on the corner and bought a bag of chips, container of dip, and a lottery ticket.  I'm so weak.  Not really, but in that moment I was.  I ate it all and then crawled into bed, cried a little and fell asleep with an upset stomach.  The one silver lining is that I haven't eaten chips & dip in so long (New Year's Eve) that my stomach actually didn't like it anymore.  That's gotta say something for all my healthy eating!!  :)

Better go start taste-testing cat food.  KIDDING!!!  I'm going to make a tuna melt, shower, get my pj's on and settle in for The Good Wife.  So happy it's a new episode tonight. :)

Can't believe I've got 99 followers that I know of.  That's crazy.  Crazy awesome but crazy all the same :)

Take Small Steps . . .

I saw this over on Things We Forget.  Love this blog.  I thought it applied to all of us on our journey.

Hopefully my small steps get me to "onederland" soon!!!