Upbeat? Umm . . . NO.

I'll lead with the positive . . . I was down 1 pound on Monday.  I was actually pretty thrilled because my goal for 2011 was to lose an average of a pound a week so . . . SUCCESS!  Hopefully I'm on track to lose another one this week :)

I'm in a funk, a mood, a pit, a terrible spot really.  I can't quite put my finger on why.  I could definitely list a few things but why are they bothering me SO MUCH right this minute?  It's not like these things are brand new this week.  Engaged little bridezilla sister, crazy mother that's recently back in my life, bit of job stress, exhaustion, loneliness at times.  None of it is really new but I guess I feel like they are all stacked up on top of each other at the moment rather than dealing with one or two at a time.  When I feel woe, I annoy the hell out of myself.  I feel weak and pathetic.

The "after".  So wish I'd take a "before".

What's odd though is how successful I was over this past week and a bit.  Usually when in a funk, I eat & couch.  I did neither.  I managed to track my food, lose a pound and cross a bunch of things off of my to-do list that have been there for ages.  It started last week.  In my last post, I talked about getting through piles of paperwork and filing. That big task snowballed.  I installed shelves in closets, went through my kitchen cupboards and medicine cabinet, returned library books and other borrowed items, got a few of my own things back.  I cleaned my condo well and have kept it that way (I can never manage this for an extended period of time so this is pretty great!).  And the final thing . . . I took possession of this condo that I'm in love with on January 24th, 2010. On my list of things to do to the place was to get rid of the horrible sliding glass shower doors with the swans on them.  Yes, SWANS.  I don't know why but this task seemed so daunting.  Never mind that I've painted the bathroom, the bedroom, ripped out carpet and installed laminate flooring.  The shower doors seemed hard.  I was sitting here on Sunday afternoon admiring my tidy living room when I thought "f*ck it, how hard can it be??".  Six minutes.  That's how long it took me to uninstall the shower doors.  Six minutes.  I WAITED A YEAR AND IT TOOK ME SIX MINUTES!!!  Took me 20 minutes to scrape off all the excess caulking but that was nothing.  The next day I bought and installed a shower rod and a brand new shower head that feels like rain.  Oh how I love it!  I also ordered a replacement dishwasher which should come on Tuesday (YAY!!)  I made some spaghetti sauce for the freezer and a stir fry that was delicious.  I also downloaded an excel spreadsheet to make a budget and so I can track every penny.  My mood is actually picking up just by listing off my week's successes!!

Now if only I can really get into that little thing called exercise . . . then maybe I could lose 1.5 pounds and get out of the funk!!

Oh . . . and ps. - thanks for all the messages of condolence for the loss of my auntie.  Really appreciated.

Michelle

PPS - UPDATE! -- While I'm sitting here in the pit contemplating going to the Barbell Blast class that I haven't been to in two months, a friend of mine messaged me to see if I'd go with her in the morning tomorrow (Saturday) so now I'm gathering my gym stuff and getting ready for bed!  Here's hoping this is going to kickstart the exercise again :)