Saturday, August 13, 2011

Weight Makes Me Wait . . .

. . . But not anymore!!!!  I will back up.  I have always let my weight stop me from doing things and going places.  If it's going out to do something where I think there is the potential for me to look ridiculous, I try to find a way to not do it or I just don't go.  And for going places like traveling, I think of trip pictures.  I don't want fat trip pictures.  It's stupid, I know it is, I'm not really living.  I thought about it a lot before my trip to BC in May and it really turned out fine.  I mean, duh, I just don't post the pictures where I look much larger than everyone else or I'm sporting extra chins!!

Back to the present, my Vancouver sister messaged me on Sunday night talking about how she was going on a yoga/spa trip with some friends in California and she was going to spend a couple days in San Francisco by herself and she was nervous because she'd never done that before.  Then she joked that I should meet her in San Francisco.  We laughed, wishing we were the type of people who just did that and had the money to just do that.  I kept thinking about it and then went online to check flights out of curiosity because I really had no idea how much that flight would normally cost.  Seat sale.  Oh my. Opportunity.  I tell my sister and we get excited for a minute and then I say that I really can't afford it.  She understands and we say one day, we'll take a trip together.  I lay awake all night thinking about it and what i realized was that the weight was stopping me more than my bank account.  I have zero objections to charging a trip and paying it off over the next few months because trip opportunities and travel buddies rarely come up.  This is a great opportunity so when I realized it was actually my weight and my own self-conscious feelings that was stopping me, I got really angry at myself.  Missed opportunity after missed opportunity.  I got to work the next morning exhausted and I looked up the flight again.  Next to it, it said "one seat remaining at this price".  The night before it said four.  I booked it.  I BOOKED IT!!  I'M GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO!!!  WITH MY SISTER!!!  While I am still self-conscious and I am still thinking about it and I am busting my ass to at least lose 10 pounds before I go (September 9th), I refuse to let my weight stop me from doing things anymore and I'm so pissed off that I did this for so long.  And so the countdown begins . . .

30 Day Shred Update
Day 5 . . . damn you Jillian . . . doable, I'm getting in more push-ups than when I started and taking less breathing breaks.
Day 6 . . . damn you Jillian . . . I'm starting to get sick of watching her.  I have it muted and listen to music but I'm starting to notice how much she enunciates, I think I'm a lip reader now!
Day 7 . . . FAIL.  I shouldn't call it failure.  Working out six days in a row and tracking all of my food and staying on plan isn't failure and I need to change my attitude.  After not sleeping Sunday night because of the above story, I just kept getting more and more tired.  I got home from work today and put on my sports bra and my shorts and sat down on the couch with the dvd remote.  Put my head back and fell asleep for an hour, sitting up. Tomorrow is a new day.  Actually, tomorrow is the day I take my measurements to see if any inches have been lost since I started Shred.

Almost forgot, another very cool thing about my trip to San Fran is that I fly home through Vancouver and I'm going to stay there for a few days and I'll get to see my family again!  So excited!!!

Anyone been to San Francisco?  Any tips on must see's and must do's?


  1. I am happy that you are making the trip. I've let my weight keep me from more opportunities than I can count, including a business trip to Australia. I was asked to visit a customer and provide some training. I declined because 1) it would be uncomfortable traveling at my weight and 2) I didn't have nice enough business clothes and really couldn't find any in the time given. I've skipped out on life for years and it's sad. Even more sad, is that I still do it. Trying to lose the weight once and for all and hope that I can finally start enjoying life.

    Enjoy your trip with your sister and visiting the family.

  2. That is awesome!! And great job sticking with Jillian, I know how brutally hard that 30 day shred is.. and I definitely did not make it 30 days.

  3. I absolutely love it!! glad you just went for it, it's those spontaneous moments that prove to be the most memorable! Don't worry aout the pictures, I'm sure you'll look great! :) You have to try the clam chowder in a bread bowl at fisherman's wharf, it's delish!!!