I was down 3 pounds! Keep in mind though that this was a two week weigh-in because last Monday was Canadian Thanksgiving. Still though, I'm thrilled. It's exciting to update the weight loss ticker and I get to change my Healthy You Challenge button to the 10 pounds button! Originally this post wasn't going to be about this but it's all I can think about so it's getting typed. Do you ever play this oh-so-damaging game in your head? Oh you know, the game where you run into someone that you haven't seen in a while and the whole time they are talking, you are trying to remember the last time you saw them so that you can figure out if you currently weigh less or more than you did the last time or if you were happier or less happy the last time. This is quickly followed by a speedy evaluation of how you look right that moment. This happened to me today. But what is especially pathetic is that it happened on the phone. Yeah, you read right. I didn't even see him. My ex-boyfriend got in touch with me because his parents need a little help/guidance in an area in which I am employed and could be a valuable resource. I would do anything for his parents so this part is not a problem. Through the whole conversation, my thoughts bounced back & forth from "don't ask me for coffee" and "am I 30 or 40 pounds heavier than when I was with him?" I got off the phone quickly by telling him I'd call his mother. He has since sent me two text messages that don't actually require a response so I'm not going to keep it going. No way am I arranging to meet him when I look worse than when I was with him. I"m supposed to look better not worse! I'm supposed to be hot and he's supposed to be sorry! Ahahahaha!
Anyhow, after helping his mom and getting off the phone, the victory of my 3 pound loss seemed so far way even though it was only 2 hours ago. Now I'm feeling a bit like a fat, lonely, failure to be completely harsh and honest. And I want to EAT EAT EAT!!!! This is especially disappointing because it's been over a month since an eatfest. I keep telling myself that succumbing to those cravings will make me feel better for about 30 seconds and then I will feel much much worse. My solution to avoid the eatfest is to finish this post, have a shower, and go to bed with my book. I'm sure I will feel better in the morning.
Okay, moving on to the positives. Can't finish with a negative! A couple of friends have asked me why this time that I'm losing weight is different. It is actually different, it just took me a little while to figure out what I'm doing that's different. The first time that I lost weight (60 pounds) on Weight Watchers, I did so at a fairly consistent pace and it took about 12 - 18 months. I hit one plateau in there and I maintained it for a few months. That first time around, my menu was boring and I wasn't too into exercise. I lost it mostly based on my diet. My boring diet. I ate a lot of packaged foods and pre-portioned foods. Lots of Lean Cuisines and Smart Ones, and so on. The pros were the built-in portion control and easy points tracking, the cons were the sodium, the monotony, and the expense. This time, I'm actually cooking. I am intentionally seeking out lower point recipes that will satisfy what I have liked about fatty, high calorie foods in the past. I am seeking out recipes for vegetables and trying different ones. The more ways I have to prepare things that I like, the better off I'll be. And if I am actually enjoying what I'm eating, I won't miss the stuff that I used to enjoy. I don't want to just eat something because the points are low, I want to eat it because I like it.
I'm going to stop here since this post got so long! Oh, me and my neuroses.
If you have any favorite ways to prepare spaghetti squash, feel free to share! I have a big yam, too. :)
Michelle :)
p.s. My followers/readers have increased by about 5 times over the last week so I just want to say thanks to everyone who is reading and commenting/encouraging! Love it!
Congratulations on the loss!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work and welcome to the HYC.
I'm just now coming back after being out of touch for a few months.
Hi there.. well, let me tell you - you’re NOT alone! I constantly do this and I guess I never realized I did it until you posted it on here, ugh I hate that I do that too. But you know what? Don’t dwell on it too much, just use it as even more motivation to keep working hard. You’re doing great, keep up the good work and congrats on the los!! :)
ReplyDeleteI just did a post about cooking. I think that's the key to my weight loss this time - I'm rethinking everything I cook. I'm also cooking more which cuts down on eating out.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the 3 pounds lost. I think I found them. :)
anna
http://runajrun.com/weightblog
Great job on the weight loss especially with Thanksgiving in there! You are doing great and keep up the great work! Oh and you are totally not alone in trying to figure out what you weighed when you last saw someone. It is like a punch in the gut but just know that the pain from the punch lasts just about as long as the taste of the gross food you would stuff yourself with. Neither are worth it.
ReplyDeleteI am cooking more this time around too! I think that is the biggest difference for me as well. I'm thinking of it as a change and not a diet. Hopefully this new lifestyle is something I can maintain forever!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the loss and thank you so much for the comment on my blog! I can't wait to get new running shoes and start the couch to 5K!
<3 Katie
Oh no! :( I just want to give you a big, squishy hug. TOTALLY hear you on both the weight-math gymnastics and wanting to eat the feelings.
ReplyDeleteHowever! Congrats on the awesome loss and welcome to HYC! :)
Great job on the loss. And I constantly think about what I looked like the last time I saw someone. Now though, I usually look better than the last time. And that feels great. So keep that in mind when your head is telling you to EAT! EAT! EAT! You've done this before and you'll do it again, and it sounds like this time you'll do it even better.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this. It's a powerful post and we all feel like this more often than we like to admit, I think.